I bought daffodils yesterday and they’re arching their necks and blooming proudly and perkily next to my computer. They have more life force than I do today! Here we are, day and night of equal duration, the equinox allowing us to contemplate the BALANCE OF OPPOSITES.
I’ve been aware of a need to pull in and just BE, that the most interesting work I’m doing may be at night while I sleep. I want to absorb and feel nurtured, not necessarily to put out and create in an ambitious way, as I see so many people—caught in the rat race—doing nonstop. A friend used to call this the balance between the primal self and the enterpriser self, or the deep feminine and the materializing masculine.
I’ve been focused in the enterpriser for a long time, living in the frontal lobes of my brain—what another friend used to call “the walnuts”—but life now seems dull and flat. The primal is calling me, dragging me, down and in. Going down into the formless, into the purely experiential, helps eliminate clutter—which is another part of what the spring equinox is about: move beyond the winter contraction, shed the old skins, break through the shells. Be squeaky new like tender green shoots, vulnerable, unprotected, yet motivated by a fierce force.
There is something much greater than our current self-concept, something that aims to grow us to maturity and knows the blueprint. Decluttering is simply the dissolution and release of memory. Today is the day of reckoning: can I feel nurtured enough? Can I trust the unknown life-wave that is beginning to rise? Will it carry me forward to my own kind of proud and perky blooming?