I did intuitive consultations in Sacramento for the past few days and had several men as clients. They all owned their own businesses, and were sensitive, alert, and humorous. On first glance, though, they appeared somewhat rumply and a bit slouchy. Ordinarily, I would not have been drawn to them, as they gave off an aloof quality as well.
But sitting with them for 90 minutes, talking frankly about their main concerns and hopes, I began to see what made them tick. Each had been divorced and had put sincere effort into dating. They all said, “I took her out, and when I called her again, she didn’t even return my call.” Or, “We went out for a year and suddenly she just stopped taking my calls. No explanation; nothing.”
They were spiritually active men, and one told me he saw an astrologer every year. The women they attracted, however, thought this was a bunch of bunk! I was amazed. The women I talk to are searching everywhere for men like these! What was interesting, too, was that as I came to understand the men’s vulnerability and gave them feedback about their strengths and inner goodness, they blossomed into smiles and I realized they were quite attractive and very warm-hearted. One man’s grayish tone brightened to a clear light and his eyes began to sparkle.
I became aware of our tendency to make snap judgments, and how, when we pay attention and look deep, beauty always comes to the surface. I also noticed how, because of difficult childhoods where we were taught to please others at our own expense, we tend to attract people who disapprove of us.
It’s stereotypical to give women credit for being kind and sensitive, while men get the reputation for being self-centered and insensitive. But these intuitive men reminded me that the sexes have much in common: we all want love, and we all start to seem slightly disheveled when we’ve been rejected repeatedly.